Sorry for not blogging lately. I was having laptop issues. I was sitting and thinking to myself that i blog mostly about my experience with having lupus, but what I am curious is about how others deal with there lupus. I want to really take this opportunity to let others write and share their story and how this disease has effected them in their life. I don't believe that if you are hurting and you are in pain that you should hold it in and try to be brave. One, that is not healthy and Two who can you vent to other than someone who is going through the same thing. When I get my laptop back I plan on having a space where people can vent or write about themselves. Believe it or not it really does help. Don't be afraid to say something because I do not get mad or upset unless it is personal,but I also don't judge people. I am self conscious when it comes to the scars from having lupus, but they are a part of who I am. It is a constant reminder of all that I went through that lead up to the scars on my face and body. I didn't like the face I saw looking back at me because I thought I was more uglier. I could not stand in front of a mirror and be happy with the scars on my face from the subcutaneous lupus. I remember one particular day when somebody asked me if I scraped my face on the asphalt. I was completely horrified and seriously offended. That was the main reason why I could not feel or look beautiful. Then I realized that people like that are ignorant and incapable of feeling empathy. Well that is too bad for them. I am over it now , but at the time it hurt. To this day I do get stared at mostly by little kids who are curious. My scars have even been a conversation starter. Now I tell them about it and usually they know someone who has lupus. Having lupus doesn't take away from what is inside of you. So when someone says something that is mean or hurtful you turn and say ( with a smile) Thank you and I am sorry you feel that way. Once you say that you automatically put what that other person says back on them so they end up feeling stupid and a little embarrassed. I don't know why ,but that is funny to me maybe next time they will think twice about being rude. I would like to give Geoff Thomas a special shout out. He runs The Lupus Magazine online and he put up my blog on there so thank you Geoff. Just remember you are beautiful inside and out and NEVER let ANYBODY make you feel anything less then that.
God Bless,
Mary
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